Meeting Moved

I have had to change the date to the 18th.  That's next Saturday night, still at 7PM at the same place.  So sorry for any inconvenience.  See you there!

This month's meeting is going to be Saturday August 11th at 7 PM at El Toro 5899 Roswell Rd. That should give everyone plenty of time to find a sitter and join us for margaritas.  You know you need this.  Find a way. 

Traumatized enough this week?  Join us tomorrow night at El Toro 5899 Roswell Rd at 7 PM.  I'll be the one behind the giant margarita. 

July's Meeting is July 14th

I'm sure most of you can understand how stressful life can get.  I am ready to get busy focusing some energy into this.  I am down to 6 kids and finally have a second to breathe.  My toughest 2 are now living in separate residential facilities.   

My plan is to arrange a monthly meeting around the middle of the month and post it here.  I'm trying to keep them around the perimeter so it's easy enough for everyone to attend.  The next meeting will be Saturday July 14th at 7PM on Roswell Rd in Atlanta. I thought we'd try a little more relaxing spot to enjoy dinner and margaritas. Email me at taps@post.com for restaurant so I can keep a tally of folks. I can't wait to enjoy your company. Bring your sense of humor.  Spread the news!

Need support?  Feeling alone in this?  Could use some adult company?  Join us tonight at Chik fil A on Windy Hill Rd in Marietta at 7 PM.  We would love to have you!

I Haven't Forgotten you

Life gets busy and when you parent kids like ours, you get distracted.  Forgive me.  I am still as committed to forming a support group for local families as ever.  I just had to take a moment to admit 3 of my kids into a psych hospital, file charges against one, admit one to a residential program, and take a break with fellow trauma mamas in Orlando.  Now I'm all yours. 

We have set a date and location for the first meeting.  We can decide there where and when to have future meetings.  We will meet next Friday the 27th at 7PM at the Chick fil a on Windy Hill Rd in Marietta.  Moms and dads are welcome but please leave your little ones home.  We can decide if future meetings will include children or not.  This one is just for us.  Email me if you plan on attending.  I look forward to meeting all of you!

When We Need Help

I have been drowning in my own sorrow and disbelief for the last week.  There comes a time when we all must look at our lives and evaluate it.  You may do it on your own or your child's behavior may escalate and force you to.  We have been forced this week.  On the outside, we can appear to be a wonderful example of how adoption works.  At home, we are run like a residential treatment facility that includes door alarms, extreme structure, and 24 hour video surveillance.    

I think we all filled out the forms saying what behaviors we knew we couldn't handle and would refuse to take children experiencing those behaviors.  They are different for everyone.  Yours may have been aggression towards animals, bed wetting, and/or something else that seemed a bit too much to imagine.  Ours was sexual predatory behaviors and fire setting.  Well, we have not had a fire setter.  I'm sure many of you had to alter your expectations along the way only to find years later you are parenting the exact child you refused in the beginning to even consider.  Welcome to older child adoption.  A life where you feel like your family is being held hostage and traumatized by another member of your family.

When is enough enough?  When do you need to protect yourself or your other children?  How much should we take?  Where do we go when we need more help?  Who do we share our secret lives with without worrying about the consequences?  What damage will it do to our family if we decide to let them go? 
Only you can decide the answer to most of those.  Having a support system in place with knowledge of the services in your area, will be extremely helpful.  Asking for help from the right person, can save your family.  Maybe just putting a few more security measures in place will restore your sanity. 

The kind of support group we are thinking of is one that meets monthly in a public venue, like a restaurant.  I can't think of a way to provide babysitting, in the beginning.  Maybe later we could take turns volunteering later or pitch in to hire someone that is trained.  I think it needs to be casual and comfortable so we can feel like normal parents just hanging out.  I'm sure many of us have long ago left that life behind.  What do you want or suggest?  Our first meeting will be March 24, 2012.  Send me an email and I will add you to our growing list privately.